Interlude
by Canonisation
Summary: Penny's having a crisis of confidence. Can Frieda cheer her up?


Title: Interlude

Author: Canonisation

Part: 1/1

Pairing: Frieda And Penny

Rating: 12

Set during 13x16, 'Love Thy Neighbour'. Contains spoilers for that episode.

Synopsis: Penny's having a crisis of confidence. Can Frieda cheer her up?

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"I just feel like if I walked right out of here right now, no-one would even notice." As she said this, Penny Valentine turned to her brother Oliver, hoping to hear some reassurance, some comforting words that would make her feel like this is where she belonged.

Oliver just smiled at her.

Penny grunted in exasperation and stood up, angrily walking down the stairs and through the corridors. She didn't know where she was going, and right now she didn't even care. She just needed to get away - away from AAU, away from Malick, away from ALL of this. Eventually, she just stopped in a deserted corridor and leaned up against the wall. She didn't even know where she was - she hadn't seen this area of the hospital before. Putting her head in her hands, she tried valiantly not to cry, and didn't entirely succeed.

Why did this always happen? She'd be feeling on top of things, and then it would all fall apart. Maybe he parents were right - maybe she'd never amount to anything. Maybe she should just quit, marry some boring stockbroker or banker, and act as the perfect housewife. Stop having these unrealistic dreams of achieving something, or healing people.

As Penny was softly sobbing into her hands, she heard a familiar voice. "So THERE you are. You almost gave me slip." She looked up to see Frieda Petrenko standing at the end of the corridor, looking a little out of breath.

"Go away," mumbled Penny.

"After spending all this time finding you? No way." Frieda walked over to her and handed her a tissue. "Here. We don't want Malick to see you've been crying."

"I'm not going back up there. He made it clear I was benched." Penny shook her head. "And the worst part is, I KNOW I'm right. There's something going on with Mr. Calder, I know it!"

"You ARE going back up there." Frieda crossed her arms and stared at Penny. "Because you're right - and that man is going to need you soon. You need to get back up there to show Malick that you stand by your decisions. He will not respect you otherwise."

"I don't think he'll respect me anyway," mumbled Penny. "Prefers to have yes-men like Ollie around. No room for me there."

"He certainly will not respect you if you don't respect yourself." Frieda frowned. "You know, maybe you are right. Maybe HE'S right. Maybe you deserve to be benched. I mean, if you're going to crumble like this whenever you are challenged, maybe you should walk out."

"What?" Penny couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"That's right. I don't think you can handle things in a hospital like this. So, maybe you can't step up to meet challenge, or stand up for yourself. So maybe you should just do us all favour and LEAVE." Frieda gave a sardonic grin as she finished, fixing Penny with a slightly mocking look.

Penny was floored. "Frieda," she whispered, "I thought...I thought we were friends..." Tears began to stream down her face as she began to think that yes, maybe she SHOULD just leave. "Okay," she mumbled tearfully. "I suppose you're right..."

Frieda's face fell. "What? Wait, no! Penny, I didn't mean..."

Penny went to leave. She wasn't going to stay any longer in somewhere she wasn't wanted. Before she could do so, Frieda grabbed her by the shoulders and gently moved her back against the wall. "Okay," said Frieda, still holding her by the shoulders, "that was bad idea on my part."

"What, telling me what you really thought?" said Penny weakly. "Let me go. You're right - I don't belong here."

Frieda didn't budge. "Okay," she said softly. "I did not mean what I said. It was supposed to be a...pep talk."

Penny laughed sarcastically. "Really? That was the worst excuse for a pep talk I've ever heard! I feel much worse now, and I'm pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to be."

"I'm sorry." Frieda looked very contrite. "I was thinking you were...same as me. Whenever I am low...whenever I am on verge of giving up, all it takes is for someone to insult me - to tell me I cannot do it. Then I get angry, and I get determined, and I put my mind to succeeding." She gave an apologetic smile. "I am sorry, Penny. I thought that would work for you too. I did not mean what I said."

"I thought you ALWAYS meant what you said," said Penny angrily.

Frieda looked her in the eyes. "I DO," she said firmly. "That was just...me trying to motivate you. Not serious. Please believe me. I did not mean to upset you further."

Too tired to put up a fight, Penny slumped against the wall. "But maybe you were right, even if you didn't mean it. Maybe I just don't have what it takes."

"Now, listen to me, Penny Valentine." Frieda's dead serious tone made Penny glance up in surprise. "I know from...experience...that it is not easy to work in a place where you are not supported. Where you feel everyone is against you. It is easy to...give up. To run."

"Is that..." Penny swallowed nervously. "Is that what happened with you?"

Frieda gave a small smile. "Do not change subject. We are talking about YOU, Valentine. You are good doctor. You are one of the best doctors we have. But you...lack confidence. You do not believe in yourself. You need to fight your corner. And I believe you can do it."

Penny shook her head sadly. "You're wrong. I don't have what it takes...

"Shut UP," said Frieda firmly. "You do. You said you were looking for something to believe in? Believe in this. Believe in your skills. Have confidence. Go back up there and show him that you are not intimidated. That you stand by what you say, and that you will not run if he does not agree. That you will be there for your patient, no matter what."

"That's..." Penny frowned. "That's what I said to Oliver. Just there now."

"I know. I was coming to find you when I heard the last part of your conversation. And I followed you when you stormed off."

"Were you listening in?"

Frieda gave her a look. "If you don't want people to hear your conversation, do not have it on public stairs. Besides, you needed more encouragement than what Oliver was giving."

"Tell me about it." Penny gave a hollow laugh. "You think it's that easy? To go back up there like nothing's happened?"

"I know is not easy. Collect yourself first. Is what I do." Frieda shrugged. "Sometimes I go to bathroom, reapply makeup, gather my strength. You should do something similar."

"So the mighty Frieda Petrenko has feelings after all?" Penny gave a slight smile.

Frieda cocked her head to one side. "Keep it to yourself. I need to maintain image."

Penny's face fell. "It's hard."

"I know," said Frieda softly. "But...I will help. If you feel that you cannot believe in yourself...know that..." She looked away shyly. "Know that I believe in you."

Penny was touched by the Ukrainian's words. She'd never heard her make such a declaration before. She also knew it must be difficult for Frieda to express herself so much, given how awkward she looked at this moment. She was still looking away from Penny, and Penny could swear there was a slight blush on her pale cheeks.

"Thank you," said Penny softly. "I really...I really needed this. To know that someone is there for me. That someone actually appreciates me."

Frieda looked back at her awkwardly, still looking a little uncomfortable. "No problem," she said quietly. "I wouldn't want to lose...for HOSPITAL to lose such a doctor."

Penny smiled in thanks, and realized something. "Um, Frieda? Do you realize you're still pinning my arms to the wall?"

Frieda looked and blinked in surprise. She let them go, and Penny rubbed her own arms gently. "Wow," said Penny, eyeing Frieda. "You've got quite a grip there."

Frieda shot her a look. "I get a lot of practice restraining upset doctors."

Penny raised an eyebrow. "I bet."

Frieda gave a sly smile. Then she cleared her throat, and spoke hesitantly. "Penny...what you said earlier? About no-one noticing if you walked out? I...I would notice."

Penny felt tears spring to her eyes in gratitude. "That's...the nicest thing anyone has said to me in months."

Frieda gave a crooked smile, and tried to make her tone sound light, not entirely succeeding. "Really? That is kind of...sad. You need to get out more."

"Tell me about it." Penny grinned. A sudden, horrible thought came to her. One that she had been trying to repress since she had heard the news earlier. "You won't be here," she said tearfully. "You didn't get the F1..."

"I know." Frieda's voice was low. Penny even swore she could see tears gather at the edges of Frieda's eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. "I do not want to go," she whispered.

"I don't want you to go," admitted Penny softly. "It's been so...nice with you on AAU these past few weeks. I know we didn't get on that well at first, but...I'm so sorry, Frieda."

Frieda shook her head sadly. "No need for apologies, Valentine. We did all we could, but some things are just not meant to be."

Penny smiled tearfully. "I'll miss you."

Frieda gave a small smile. "Come now...just because I am leaving the hospital doesn't mean you will never see me, does it? Or are you planning to forget all about me?"

"I don't think I could ever forget you, even if I tried," said Penny wryly.

"What I said earlier?" said Frieda tentatively. "I meant it. Just because I will not be here...it does not mean that I will not still be thinking of you. I will still support you."

Penny grasped Frieda's hands. "Thank you," she whispered warmly. "I mean it. And if I can do anything for you..."

Frieda glanced down at her hands in surprise, but did not pull them away. "I know. And...I thank you, too." She gave a smile, trying to lighten the mood slightly. "This is getting a little...slushy for my tastes, Valentine."

Penny squeezed her hands slightly. "I bet you're really a big softy under it all. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone...your secret's safe with me."

"Good." Frieda nodded solemnly. "I mean, I do intend to go out of here with my reputation intact."

"We'll still stay in touch, right?" Penny tried not to sound panicked, but she needed some reassurance.

Frieda gave a small smile. "Of course." There was a pause as the two women looked deep into each other's eyes. Almost without thinking about it, Penny began to intertwine her fingers with Frieda's. The Ukrainian did not protest.

Gazing deep into brilliant green eyes, Penny found herself thanking whatever forces she could think of for bringing Frieda into her life. The thought that she wouldn't see the Ukrainian nurse on a daily basis from now on saddened her deeply, and she was determined to keep Frieda in her life. Penny needed her - she knew that now - and she got the feeling that it was mutual.

Somehow, although it was not something she had ever expected to happen, Penny was unsurprised to see Frieda begin to close her eyes and lean in towards her. She did the same, and the two women gently pressed their lips together. It felt natural - it felt RIGHT.

The kiss itself was brief - just a quick brushing together of lips - but the meaning behind it was clear. Frieda was letting her know that her leaving the hospital would change nothing - they belonged together, not just in a job sense, but in EVERY sense. And Penny was letting her know that she felt the same way.

They drew back from each other, their hands still entwined. Their eyes met, and they both shared a smile. The message was clear - I WANT THIS. They squeezed each other's hands softly, care and compassion radiating through their touch.

"So..." said Frieda finally, breaking the silence. "I suppose...you should really get back to AAU."

"Yeah..." said Penny reluctantly. "You're right. I need to get back in there. Do my job. You're right - I am a pretty damn good doctor."

"Just keep telling yourself that, and Malick will not be able to deny it." Frieda shot her a small smile. "I will follow you up in a bit..."

Penny nodded. "Okay. And Frieda...I'm sorry you didn't get the F1. But you are an EXCELLENT nurse. You won't have any trouble getting work anywhere else. I'm going to make it my mission in life to help you."

"I know. Thank you." Frieda shrugged. "You never know - day is not over yet. Something could still happen."

"That's the spirit." Penny smiled. "So, I'll see you back up there in a bit, okay?"

"Of course." Frieda leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on Penny's forehead. "Go and wow them, Valentine."

"I will." Penny gave Frieda's hands a final squeeze, and set back off for AAU. Maybe this day wasn't going to be the unmitigated disaster she had feared. She was going to go back to AAU, and stand her ground. Then she was going to make sure that Frieda was going to be okay - even if this hospital didn't want her, somebody definitely would. The thought of Frieda made her smile. She wasn't exactly sure where their relationship was going to go after this, but she was certainly eager to find out.


End file.
